You say goodbye and I say Hilo….Hilo Hilo

After a choppy 4 days at sea, it was worth the bouncing and early nights of sleep to make it to the first port of call on the Hawaiian Cruise – Hilo which is situated on the Big Island.  This island in the chain of Hawaii, holds a very special place in my heart, as many memories were made on this island during my time at Kalani.

Oh Kalani – if you have never heard of it or been – just put it in Google and you will find out where I decided to volunteer and spend not a lot of time at.  Kalani brought me a realization that I am not one who can be completely disconnected and live off the land, and share a bathroom with 15 other people in a hale.  However, it did teach me respect of the ‘aina (land), a quick snapshot into the beautiful culture of the Hawaiian people, and that I was able to drive a car, which was really an automatic car but almost like a standard which I don’t know how to drive, into the town of Hilo when you really needed to escape from being in Pahoa.  Again, Google Pahoa and if you know me well enough, you know that I would need a bit of an escape.

Friends were made on the Big Island.  A threat of a tsunami had be scared out of my pants, and it inspired one of my few tattoos, which is the Chain of Islands, and yes call me a tourist – but a proud one at that!  Volunteering was a great experience, and I was able to teach a Yoga Class, learn how to use silks, and also how to make lei’s.  I learnt about Pele, and even made a lei to offer to the goddess to protect me, as I felt that she was always close by.

Today I strolled the Saturday Market, tasted new food, had fresh pressed juice, spoke to locals in the running shop and learnt about an upcoming trip to Europe.  I was able to share my passion of Hawaii to the locals who came onboard the ship in the morning, just to be told that I looked like Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz, which is funny enough because she says “There is no place like home” and this is what Hawaii feels like to me – so fair comment and thank you sir.

Hawaii is a place that I want to share with others.  I hope that this small insight into the Hawaii that I see has given you the inspiration to see what the Islands are truly about.  It is very simple, and I like to call it “Aloha”.

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11 months have gone by

Can you believe that it has been 11 months since the last time that I posted by thoughts, my words, my desires on a screen to be shared with those who enjoy what I have to say and share? Wow – how the time does go by fast.

Life has thrown some interesting curve balls my way throughout the past year, which have included new love and saying till we meet again to that love, travels to Asia numerous times, being in Alaska for the summer, enjoying time in Mexico for my birthday, being in and out of Florida and going to the Caribbean and Jamaica, and then travelling across the States to go back to being based out of LA and sailing to Hawaii.

Yes – Hawaii – I am currently en route to the land where I believe is my true calling home.  The place where I feel the magic of the islands embrace me as I come closer each day while sailing at sea.  When I arrive to the Islands of Hawaii, I immediately feel centered and at an indescribable peace with myself.  The surroundings are beyond familiar, and the people are like from a movie that I have watched hundreds of times as they are that familiar.  The smell, the sounds, the natural feeling of being home brings me to state of calmness that I can not explain.  As I write, I am being bounced around on a ship and I don’t mind the rough seas, the windy weather, because I know what is on the horizon and in less than 36 hours I will be saying Aloha to Hilo.

Things have started to make sense to me again.  I have felt like I was lost in a sea of the unknown and questioning to who I was, what did I truly want, and do I really care about what I do.  I feel that this year is going to be a real year of positive change, and a year of exploration to get to the core of who I am and not to be persuading by other influences to say what is right and what is wrong according to those sources.  This is a year to step beyond the boundaries that I have created for myself and not to fear the fun that can exist outside of those parameters.  It is time to say “Why not, let’s do it” and just get out there.  To know that there is more than just looking for a place to sit, eat, drink and unwind.  Because life is an adventure, and when sitting still, where is the fun in that?

It’s nice to be back writing to you all, and I hope that you enjoy all that I have to share because this year is going to be epic!

Mahalo!

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To See the Light, You Have to Know What a Bit of Darkness Is.

I have been known to be a very positive person, full of energy, life, excitement, but there is another side of me, which not everyone gets to see. There is a side, which has hurt many people, as I have been hurt too. There is a side of me, which longs for the ability to share my life and my passion with someone else (insert my numerous engagements here). There is a side of me, which tells me everything is going to be alright, but then doubts all of the decisions which have been made. This blog is about that side of me, as I do believe that we all have a bit of this inside ourselves, and I want to address this side of me today. I want to acknowledge it, forgive it, and move on from it. It is like a cycle of destruction, and I want it all to go away, and I want to feel that pure glow, genuine happiness, and a smile that I can not take off my face no matter how tough it gets, I can make it through.

First, I will start by staying “I’m Sorry”. I am sorry to those that I have let down, who have hoped to have seen a future with me, and either deciding it was best to our ways, or me just running away and not dealing with the situation with unanswered questions, I am truly sorry. I am not a fan of confrontation, and I sometimes live in my “bubble” world, where things may or may not exist. I am sorry those that I have hurt, and I know that karma isn’t a nice thing to come my way.

Now before anyone takes this blog too seriously, there is nothing to be concerned about. (Mom – I am fine). I just need to be putting my life into perspective in my 32nd year, and I should have had a lot of things figured out by now. I see my friends getting married, engaged, having kids, living their passion, sharing their creativity with the world, and I just want to know now, where do I exactly fit in. I have those who like to follow my travels on Facebook, wishing that they were living their life like me, but I can guarantee that at the end of the day, they have people there for them. With such a transient life, you meet people who you think are your close friends, but it is just for that short period of time. Don’t get me wrong, I have amazing people in my life from my travels, and I wish each and every day I could see them all or be able to communicate with them and have everyone together to celebrate anything.

I have made committments, and then broke them. I have committed to being super healthy, getting to the gym, staying away from my social side of having a drink, and then I resort back to my old habits. It has been a difficult year, but I can’t be referring to that anymore. No more excuses.

So – to make a change, you need to be vocal. You need to share this with others, and be able to have people hold you accountable to your words and actions. I ask you, my friends, my co-workers, blog followers, help me be accountable to be the best person that I can be. A person who is completely full of trust, passion, truth, self-love, and love for others. A person who has that sparkle back in her eye, and wants to make a positive difference to each person they meet.

As I said in the beginning, to know the light you have to know a bit of darkness, and I have had enough of this darkness. So – here is to the light, here is to me being a positive role model, and to ask for forgiveness to those I have hurt in the past.

Namaste.

Craigslist – You never know who you might find answering your ad .……

My writing had come to a bit of a stall as I prepared to move my life into a 7×4 storage unit in Vancouver.  I had originally had a larger unit downtown Vancouver, however, I was shocked to find out that for the cost for 3 months by the airport was still less than one month downtown!  However, I had to reduce the size of my storage, which meant – it was time to sell my stuff.

I had to do an inventory of what I truly wanted to sell and what I wanted to keep.  Also, putting a price on your items isn’t the easiest thing to do.  Many of my pieces had memories etched into them.  Although they were only one year old, it brought me back to my great adventure of moving to Vancouver, starting a new job, and my Mom putting them together.  However, I knew that there were people out there who probably needed them more than my storage unit.  So – this blog is dedicated to those who bought my “stuff”.

The Bedframe – Went to a lovely new father to be who moved from Ontario to Kitsilano in the summer.  He figured it was best him and his wife had a bed frame to sleep on instead of their mattress on the floor since they were now expecting.  So – first sale done!

The Patio Set – First of all, thank you to my great friend who actually donated this to my cause.  However, now it belongs to two lovely yoga instructors from Slovenia! Namaste!

The Dresser – Maybe my smarts will also rub into this very talented girl who is a SSHRC PostDoctoral Fellow with UBC. Fancy!

The Ikea Couch – there had been many who inquired about this couch, but my instinct went to a guy who had gone through a bit of a change in his life, and I just wanted to help as I totally understood what he was going through.  We had emailed back and forth and then actually started to text.  It was great to find out that he was actually moving across the street from me and he worked for one of my favorite companies who I fly with from time to time.  We knew people in common, and it was a right away connection.  Then, we met.  And, we moved.  No trucks, no trolleys, just our bare hands and determination.  There were laughs, jokes, thoughts of “why did I drink too much tequila at karaoke last night” moments, tetris like moves up his 3 flights of stairs, as there was no elevator, but it was fun.  I had met a great neighbor, but I was soon to leave.  We had a few casual get-togethers after, which again, was full of laughter and a sweet calmness.  Even to this day, I look forward to our emails, and I am happy to know that he will have a nice couch to add to his rather lovely wooden panel apartment and the memories that will unfold in his new home with his special sweet girl.

So – Craigslist – thank you.  You brought some great people into my life, even just for the quick moment of an interaction of goods and also the friendships to be.  It was a big move, yet a good emotional release, which was needed. 

Here is to the past, the present, and the future and I hope those who have my old stuff find the joy, excitement, and love that I had for everything that they newly acquired.

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This Girl has got a case of “The Laugh” and a Facial Expression or Two….

When I get nervous, excited, in disbelief, I laugh.  A giggle comes out and sometimes it just can’t stop.  This is my natural mechanism hardwired into me, and if I were to stop this, change it, then I wouldn’t be WHO I am.  Perhaps this laugh can come at moments when a laugh may not be the best reaction to a situation.  Now, I am not speaking about something tragic, as I do have feelings, and I am very empathetic.  I understand sadness, grief, anger, loss, but I do like to have self happiness/laugh-ness as you can call it.  This laugh just got me into a bit of a situation, which I do apologize for, as I was having a great time – so sorry for the giggles my friend.

I also like to make face gestures.  I have been described as the following from my graduation from my Yoga 200 hr Teacher Training by Julia McCabe: “World traveller, Yogini of the Water Gypsy’s and Cruiseship Pirate who has a penchant for facial expressions and amazing comebacks.”  I am known for my facial expressions, and perhaps I need to have a Go Pro camera following my own facial expression for the day so I can truly see what I get myself up to.  People might think that I am giving them a look which can be assumed to be rude, flirting, or just plain what is wrong with that girl.  Oh – and sorry for the facial expressions too my friend – this my animated side. 

This is me.  This can also be a reason why I am still single at 31.  But really, I am not a cookie cutter girl.  I am not your average run of the mill, cook your dinner, rub your feet, and come to your every beckoning call.  I am a dreamer, a doer, someone who has drive, and I want to achieve so much in this life.  There are times were I feel as if I have not achieved anything at all, and it really brings me down.  I am a naturally bubbly, outgoing person, but there are times when I just want to stay in bed all day, and hide.  What a waste of a day, because each day is so precious, and due to my lack of self confidence I can have from time to time, I just want to escape under a warm duvet of protection.

I am tired of feeling like I have achieved nothing at all.  It is hard to see all of these now very young talented people in the media, and I always wonder, what would have happened if I stayed on my first path in life.  I was on the road to Media, I was in the Radio Station, I was meeting with many now top Media people, and I was passionate.  However, I would never take away the experience and travels I have to date, but I would like to expand.  Expand my knowledge, my career, my passion, and my exposure to the world.

2014 – It’s our Year to do this – Laughs, Facial Expressions, and Passion!

:)

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The Tinder Experience – No more.

In October, I was introduced to this little app call “Tinder”.  Have you ever tried it?  Heard of it?  Had any success with it?  When you live on a Cruise Ship, you never know about the latest and greatest apps out there, or even movies or new music.  I was amused by this creation for any Smart Phone or Tablet, which ends up being linked up to your Facebook profile.

How it works – this is the best part.  You put in what YOU are looking for, distance, age, gender, and then the app will look for those in your requirements and you will then receive a list and you either “like or dislike” what you see, based on a few words and mainly pictures.  If both people have liked each other, then you can start to chat.  So – this is what we have come to in our society to meet people.  Does it work?  Well, sure it does.  But, you never know what you might find on the other end of your blue-lighted screen.

My friend had been chatting with someone, so I put the app on my iPhone while in Hawaii and tried it out.  We ended up chatting with the same person, but we all knew it as it became a joke.  We met up in a local bar, and things went well between me and him, and my friend wasn’t interested.  We had a great time, but I wouldn’t admit that I had met him on Tinder.  Here is the thing – if you are not truly available, free, wanting to meet someone, still hung up on a love from the past, it is probably not a great thing to go on.    This is what happened when I went to visit this person again.  It is a weird situation, but a life lesson brought again by the islands of Hawaii.  Do your own thing, and if you have a feeling something might not be right, TRUST you gut instinct and be true to yourself.

After my Hawaiian experience, I gave Tinder a go in the Vancouver Market.  I ended up having a few people chat me up – with lines like “Nice Eyes”, “How would you tell your friends you met me?”, “Let’s meet up!”, along with many other lines.  I did have a bit of a connection with one person, but I was off to Italy and we ended up havinga great conversation throughout 2 weeks via email.  It was great, it was exciting, it made writing an email a joy again.  After 2 weeks of emails, it was on to phone calls.  We had a few, and then nothing.  Perhaps a text message here, facebook message there, but the novelty ended it seemed.  We had never met in person, and who knows what would have happened, but that will be a story of the past in 2013.

So life lesson of 2013 to bring into 2014.  Goodbye Tinder – I’m a pretty sweet person, and I don’t need to hype myself up with photos, words, and hard sells, and want someone to meet me in person for what they “like” on an app.  I am ready to take on 2014 with zest, adventure, love, fun, and on December 31st, 2014 – I will be again celebrating the year in a new place, amongst my friends, and raising a fine glass of champagne to ring in the New Year.

Happy New Year to my friends, and thanks for reading about my travels throughout 2013!

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